Losers React. Winners Respond.
Most things in life are uncontrollable, but you win or lose based on your behaviors on the backside of what you can't control.
“Most of what happens in life is outside your control, but you can always control how you behave on the backside of the uncontrollables.
Do you react emotionally?
Or do you respond as favorably as possible given the circumstances?
Loser react.
Winners respond & move forward.”
-Ray Zingler on X
Growing up my father preached and lived what he referred to as his ‘10 Simple Steps for Living Today Well’:
1) Have a short memory.
2) Focus on the present.
3) Be a doer not a worrier.
4) Show gratitude.
5) Overlook flaws in others.
6) Exercise your faith.
7) Never fear anything.
8) Pick a virtue you need now and practice it.
9) Bury the hatchet about your past.
10) Laugh, especially at yourself.
The beauty of them is they are all controllable.
So much of what happens in life is outside of our control, from the weather to the behavior of others there are countless uncontrollables you and I run into every single day.
And while we obviously can’t control the uncontrollables, life always gives us a choice with what to do after the uncontrollable happens.
The universe gives us controllable options.
We can choose to emotionally react, “gosh this sucks that it’s cold and rainy. Now my day is going to suck because of it.”
Or we can choose to respond as favorably as possible given the context of the circumstances.
“My friend was dishonest and really put me in a bind because I was counting on him for this project, however I am still going to do what I need to do to the best of my ability.”
Both unfavorable circumstances, sure, but reacting emotionally usually makes situations worse whereas responding favorably gives us a chance to maximize a circumstance as best we can.
The best book I’ve ever read in my life is ‘A Man’s Search For Meaning’ by Viktor Frankl.
And in that book is a quote of his I have printed on canvas in my home, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Viktor noticed something gruesomely uncomfortable, yet wildly powerful while enduring the harshest of circumstances in concentration camps:
Circumstances can be taken from you. Your response cannot.
While you can’t control the events, you can control your interpretation and response.
The gap is where agency, responsibility, and meaning live.
Respond don’t react.